mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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