IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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