Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
accomplished twins. life is a go
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
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