do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
