sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
