pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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