i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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