Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
