They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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