do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
