She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
