I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
