went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
