i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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