NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
