...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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