Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
