Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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