why didn't you poke me back
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
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