Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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