..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
