So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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