you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
