OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Boobs speak an international language.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
