no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
