We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
