Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
