Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize