a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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