You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
