I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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