I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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