I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
