So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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