talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
