So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
