I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
