So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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