If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
