I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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