I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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