is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
This is classic penis vs brain.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Randomize
