I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
