So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
He has the fingertips of a God
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