Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
