Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
