im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
