So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
