maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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