I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Randomize
