what day is it and did you see me today?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
