he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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