i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
