Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
