he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
There's a naked man in my car right now.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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