new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
