I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
