She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
